The holidays have a funny way of doing two things at once: They make us exhausted… and also weirdly cozy.
You’re tired. You’re overstimulated. You’ve eaten too much sugar. But you’re also home more. Wearing softer clothes. Sitting closer on the couch. Lighting candles “for ambiance” when really you just want the house to feel calm.
And somewhere between spiced eggnog and fuzzy socks, a thought pops up: Okay… maybe it’s time to spice things up.
Let’s talk about that—without making it weird.
First: Arousal Is Biology, Not a Personality Trait
Sexual arousal isn’t about being “fun,” “wild,” or “confident.” It’s not a mindset you can force after a long day. It’s physiology.
At a very basic level, arousal depends on nerves and blood flow—specifically nerves that carry sensation to the vulva and clitoris and communicate with the brain.
The big one? The pudendal nerve. It’s the main sensory nerve responsible for touch, pressure, and pleasure. When it’s functioning well—and when the nervous system feels relaxed—sensation improves. Blood flow increases. Things wake up.
When it’s not? Desire can feel muted, delayed, or disconnected.
Which brings us to the real holiday villain…
Stress Is the Ultimate Buzzkill
You can’t be in full fight-or-flight mode and feel turned on. Your nervous system has to choose. When you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or mentally juggling 47 tabs:
- Blood flow shifts away from the pelvis
- Muscles stay tense
- Sensation dulls
- Desire drops
This is why so many women say, “I love my partner… I just don’t feel in the mood.”
Nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system is just tired.
Enter: Holiday Permission to Slow Down
The holidays—chaotic as they are—create pockets of opportunity:
- Sleeping in
- Lounging together
- Long dinners
- Less rushing (or at least different rushing)
That’s not laziness. That’s nervous system regulation. And that’s where desire actually starts. Sometimes spicing things up isn’t about doing more—it’s about removing pressure.
Yes, You’re Allowed to Bring Toys Into the Bedroom
Let’s normalize this: toys are not a replacement for a partner. They’re tools. Like candles. Or good lighting. Or really great music.
They can:
- Increase clitoral stimulation (which most women need)
- Help “wake up” nerve pathways
- Reduce pressure on penetration being the main event
- Make exploration feel lighter and more playful
Think of it like this: if we’re willing to make our lattes seasonal, our skincare seasonal, and our cocktails seasonal… why not our sex lives?
If your eggnog has spice, your bedroom can too.
When Anatomy Affects Sensation (And No One Talks About It)
Sometimes it’s not stress or mindset. Sometimes it’s physical.
Excess tissue, scarring from childbirth, hormonal changes, or pelvic floor tension can all affect sensation and comfort—especially during intimacy.
This is where modern sexual wellness and female rejuvenation treatments come in. Not to change you. Not to make you “look a certain way.”
But to restore:
- Comfort
- Function
- Sensation
Because pleasure isn’t frivolous. It’s part of health.
Give Yourself a Gift That Doesn’t Need Wrapping
You don’t need a dramatic reset this holiday season. You don’t need to reinvent your relationship or turn intimacy into another thing on the to-do list. Sometimes it’s just about choosing each other a little more on purpose.
Slowing down enough to be present. Touching without rushing. Laughing, flirting, reconnecting in the small, quiet moments that remind you why you chose this person in the first place.
Whether that looks like deeper conversations, more intentional time together, introducing something playful into the bedroom, or simply giving yourselves permission to prioritize intimacy again—it all counts.
Think of this as a gentle reminder to celebrate your relationship, not overhaul it. Light the candle. Pour the drink. Lean into each other.
This holiday season, give yourselves the gift of pleasure—and the connection that comes with it.
Xo,
The Edit: Where we keep things real, keep things feminine, keep things you.